11: doodles


11: doodles.

it’s really getting hard drawing every evening. I post phone, I’m not inspired, I grumble at scanner and photoshop.
The first few days I was thinking about the drawing during the day, thinking up things to draw and how to draw them. It was fun. The last few days it has become a chore.
Not a problem. Just something to go through.

Most grumblings come because I see great things and great examples and I want to sit and study them, with my pencil. But I don’t. Because I have a busy day. Or because I need to do this, that and the other first. I’ve got excuses plenty.

But also because this drawing-thing has some sort of magic in it that needs to be tended to. Studying drawing needs to be done in a particular way as not to kill that magic.

I’ve killed the magic of other things I like to do. Writing. Art. Japanese paintbrushing. Flamenco dancing. I don’t want to lose it for drawing too. So I’m treading carefully. I need to find a way to study without getting too tensed up about it, without killing the magic.
It’s not a particular fun place to be.

Not a problem. Just something to go through. Carefully. I do recognise this state of mind as the one of frustration: the phase of frustration that’s needed to forge new opportunities.
No fun at all. (But not a problem.)

Also, I hate this colouring.


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